Fishy Weather

Posted on a Monday in 2013 at 6:36 am in Absurdist, Myth & Fable.

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I hate it when it rains fish.

July comes around, it rains fish. Guaranteed. Every year. So you get used to the fish storms in July. Or you’re supposed to… That’s what some people say anyways.

But I honestly don’t know anyone who doesn’t grumble and complain about getting fish in your boots, or smacked in the forehead with a mackerel, or glancing up and getting a trout in the eye. I just pull my hood over my head and stomp home, or to school, or wherever I’m going, since you can’t take the bus during fish season.

That’s how we knew the climate was changing. The fish came earlier. And not just a little earlier, but in late April. Which, if you know anything about weather or fish, is far too early. There they were, all those beady fish eyes staring down, thinking whatever fishy thoughts fish think. In April!

I think the only people I know who really like fish season, who are really excited by it, are the old Waterly’s out in the valley. They’re a bit strange, and people talk about them when they aren’t around. I don’t know how they can stand all those fish flopping around in the trees all night. But they do.

Even the Waterly’s didn’t like this April fish weather though, “‘Twasn’t right. ‘Tain’t natural,” said old Essiah Waterly, nodding sagely at whomever was listening.

Of course we all knew that.

It didn’t seem fair at all…we’d have to deal with little, beady fish eyes in the sky, with flopping, falling, splat, splat, splat, in May and July now. So no buses for two, maybe three months.

I just hoped we didn’t have any puffer-fish storms. Those were the worst. Didn’t want to get caught outside in a puffer-fish storm. Thankfully that kind of storm was really only something that happened tropical climates…except then I heard New York had been hit by a puffer-fish storm. New York! That wasn’t right.

The climate was changing. Fish rains out of season. Puffer storms on the north-east coast. There was no denying it. So I told myself “as long as it doesn’t start raining sharks” to keep my spirits up.

Because raining sharks? Ridiculous. We would be OK as long as the clouds didn’t start dropping sharks on us. Yessir.

Copyright (c)2012 Raven Daegmorgan
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