Heh. I meant to LJ about this one and then never did: it’s a possible early chapter/background material for The Children of Uru, the novella I’ve been working on.
I think the first paragraph needs some serious work/editing. The description trips over itself — but ultimately it was written to get the idea onto paper to see if it caught fire or fizzled out.
Kalthandrix said,
June 13, 2007 at 9:12 am
Love it - great detail and imagery, but there is one glaring flaw…
It is not nearly long enough! We need more and now
A story just shy of 800 word is a tease, you cruel man you!
greyorm said,
June 13, 2007 at 12:08 pm
Heh. I meant to LJ about this one and then never did: it’s a possible early chapter/background material for The Children of Uru, the novella I’ve been working on.
I think the first paragraph needs some serious work/editing. The description trips over itself — but ultimately it was written to get the idea onto paper to see if it caught fire or fizzled out.
Kalthandrix said,
June 13, 2007 at 12:22 pm
Less talky…more writey
When ever you want someone to pow-wow with or read your Children of Uru stuff, let me know.